The Break-up

Stop looking for the love of your life, love your life and the right person will appear. – Anonymous

It’s nice to speak with you again, friend. I’ve heard that you’re having a difficult time nursing a broken heart. It pained me to hear this news, mostly because I know the thoughts that are most likely running through your head right now. You’re questioning who you are and thinking that something must be wrong with you, or perhaps that you have done something in order to lose someone that you love. I wish that I could remove all of these negative thoughts and self doubts from you, but I know that you have to work though that on your own. For now I will offer you words to replace the nasty ones, and I will extend you my kindness and my love, and hope that it is enough to sustain you until you’ve navigated through this pain.

As alone as you feel right now, please know that you’re not. Also, as difficult as this will be to conceptualize now, know that this pain is temporary. Right now it feels as though the pain of heart break is drowning you. You may even wonder how it is you are supposed to get yourself out of bed. Maybe all you want to do is cry while you nurse your sorrow with a pint of ice cream.

I’ve been there. Believe me. As I write these words to you, I am also nursing a broken heart. After three years of dating, I discovered that the man I was in love with had cheated on me with a beautiful much younger woman. In the moment of discovery I felt every hope, aspiration, and dream that I had for our future die. It is difficult to let go of fantasies we have for the future. As much as I wanted to cling to those things, I had to let them go or drown in grief.

You see, friend. I’ve been here before. Not this exact place, mind you, but fairly close. My heart has been broken by lies, infidelity, disappointments, and dishonesty. I’ve navigated all of these things before, so I know – that as much as I hurt right now – I will be okay. There us nothing that I did that caused these things… the lies, infidelity, and let-downs were the decisions and inadequacy of someone else. They were not mine. We will not accept responsibility for the faults of another.

For now, friend, we must put all that love we gave away and redirect it to our healing. We must have faith that all things will work out as they are meant to. Mere months from now we will, I guarantee you, be able to look back and be thankful for the pain we feel now – for it will transform us and take us somewhere new and wonderful that we couldn’t imagine when we were trapped in fantasies.

Now. Get up. Get dressed. Put your makeup on and do your hair. Do the things that make you feel ‘normal’. Live your life and face the world looking for the promises it offers that better things are coming. Today my promise was a rainbow, and it made me think of you.


Your Trusted Friend ♥

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