Why does the brain remember a ten-year-old workplace mortification in perfect detail, but let the sweet, quiet archives of a lifelong friendship blur at the edges? A rattling bathroom door handle sends me down the rabbit hole of how our minds catalog the moments that make us.
This is a question that occasionally wanders into the quiet corridors of my thoughts: Am I truly healed, or are my wounds just comfortably dormant? There is a certain kind of peace that comes with being alone. When no one is disappointing you, misunderstanding you, asking anything of you, or touching the places that still… Continue reading The Feeling is Real. The Story May Not Be.
When I revisit old writing, it’s like unearthing a time capsule. It has been a while since I last reflected on my gap-toothed smile and the little girl who thought she needed to fix it. My front gap was once large enough to fit a nickel and a dime pressed together. I know this because… Continue reading The Time Capsule: My Gap-Toothed Smile
I'm realizing how many preconceived ideas I have about relationships as I navigate dating again. For example, in my early dating experiences through my 30s, when I would meet someone where 'sparks' happened, there was always this almost instantaneous relationship that formed. Two people met who 'clicked', kissed, and looked for every opportunity to spend… Continue reading Dating After 40: Learning to Love the Space
The end of August and moving into September feels like a rubber band released from its tension. For so long I’ve felt my life was paused, but I could feel the roots going deep. Change and growth happening, but it hadn’t yet reached the surface. Life felt slow. Not bad slow, just the ability to… Continue reading September: Yes, Me
Relationships can be minefields. As every one of us is a unique individual, it can be difficult to truly understand the people around us. Their views can be so drastically different from our own as to be incomprehensible. This isn’t necessarily wrong or bad. It’s just that we’re standing and looking a different way, seeing… Continue reading Relationship Minefields
Our mind is a powerful tool. We can sit and ponder the intricacies of the universe, the inner workings of the human heart, and the deeper meaning of life itself. We can imagine. Create. Solve. Understand. We can use our minds to make meaning of this strange and beautiful experience of being human. More often,… Continue reading Getting Out of My Head
I have two crushes. I almost feel like a teenager again. I was a very boy-crazy teen. Well, and of course there has been my adoration of Alyssa Milano. And now, here I am, 48, with crushes on two men. Not one man I’m trying to determine whether I like. Not one potential relationship I’m… Continue reading I Have Two Crushes and I’m Not Choosing Yet
I’m sitting in this space of discomfort. Those early, early moments of dating when you’ve met someone who piques your interest and there is this moment where you think… This could be something. I have not sat in this space for a very long time. It’s been three years since I dated anyone seriously. While… Continue reading My Crush
Some lessons return to us again and again. Boundaries. Self worth. How to love without losing ourselves. How to receive. Maybe growth isn’t leaving these lessons behind, but meeting them differently each time.
Always, Your Trusted Friend