Looking toward May, I can’t help but anticipate a tending. Coming from the space I’ve been occupying,the fallow, the seed planted,I find myself asking what this asks of me next. When I think of the seed, there isn’t a sudden bloom.No clear moment where everything shifts into color. Not yet. If April was the seed,quietly… Continue reading May: The Tending
April has been quieter and softer than I expected. Not in the same way as before, not like January's subtle adjustments, the pause that holds its breath. Not like February's cleansing and stillness that waits for something to begin. This is a different kind. It's the kind of quiet where something has already begun, something… Continue reading April: The Seed
When I was young, it was easy for me to love. I handed out my heart like there was an infinite supply, like it was a thing that couldn't be dented, or bruised, or tossed aside. There was no math in my affection or comprehension of the harm others could do. At that age, love… Continue reading Here Anyway
In farming, there is a season where the land is left unsown. To anyone passing by, the field looks empty. Quiet. Even wasteful, especially when the sun is high and the growing season is in full swing. It can look like neglect. Like laziness. Like something is being missed. But that stillness isn’t absence. It’s… Continue reading The Fallow Season
My heart has called me home. There was a certain sheepishness as I followed her call; I hadn't realized I'd abandoned her throne, leaving nothing but dust on her seat. Stress and anxiety had lured me away, whispering that my value lay in the lands of others. The relentless machine of obligation overwhelmed me. I… Continue reading My Heart
Insecurities are an interesting thing. We treat them like small, shameful secrets, yet we allow them to dominate large swaths of our lives. For some, that insecurity might be a vice; for others, it’s the shape of their body or the weight of a decade-old mistake. We live in constant fear that we’ll be "branded"… Continue reading And It Worked
I used to fear the word content. I heard it as a heavy, rusted anchor, a settling of the soul into the silt of the mundane. I thought it meant the end of the climb, the extinguishing of the fire, the quiet surrender of a heart that had simply stopped trying to grow. I saw… Continue reading Already Home
Memory is a story we tell ourselves to survive; the body is the truth we cannot edit. When I was young, I was molested by a babysitter’s son. I didn’t remember it for a long time. My young mind did what it needed to do to survive. It folded the memory neatly and tucked it… Continue reading What I Wasn’t Taught Was From Whom
The last two months have felt like a slow, steady, quiet building. January was full of micro-tweaks and subtle adjustments. Small calibrations. A tightening of bolts I didn’t even know were loose. February felt like a cleansing of the heart. A soft wringing out. A release of the things I’ve carried, the barriers I’ve erected,… Continue reading March: Ignition
Day 9: Last Quarter in Scorpio Yesterday was about catching yourself before rushing to the end of the story. Today is about sitting in the unknown and allowing these moments to exist without pressure for understanding or resolution. This is not a space for conclusions or next steps. It is a space for staying present. Always, Your Trusted Friend 🌹
