Love

I Have Two Crushes and I’m Not Choosing Yet

I have two crushes. I almost feel like a teenager again. I was a very boy-crazy teen. Well, and of course there has been my adoration of Alyssa Milano. And now, here I am, 48, with crushes on two men. Not one man I’m trying to determine whether I like. Not one potential relationship I’m… Continue reading I Have Two Crushes and I’m Not Choosing Yet

Love

Femininity isn’t Passive

Femininity is often mistaken for passivity. They're not the same thing. Passivity accepts whatever is placed in front of it. It tolerates poor treatment. It stays quiet to avoid conflict. It believes love is something to be earned through self-sacrifice. I've made this error in my own thinking and have given so much of myself… Continue reading Femininity isn’t Passive

Love

Here Anyway

When I was young, it was easy for me to love. I handed out my heart like there was an infinite supply, like it was a thing that couldn't be dented, or bruised, or tossed aside. There was no math in my affection or comprehension of the harm others could do. At that age, love… Continue reading Here Anyway

Life

The Fallow Season

In farming, there is a season where the land is left unsown. To anyone passing by, the field looks empty. Quiet. Even wasteful, especially when the sun is high and the growing season is in full swing. It can look like neglect. Like laziness. Like something is being missed. But that stillness isn’t absence. It’s… Continue reading The Fallow Season

Life

My Heart

My heart has called me home. There was a certain sheepishness as I followed her call; I hadn't realized I'd abandoned her throne, leaving nothing but dust on her seat. Stress and anxiety had lured me away, whispering that my value lay in the lands of others. The relentless machine of obligation overwhelmed me. I… Continue reading My Heart

Life

And It Worked

Insecurities are an interesting thing. We treat them like small, shameful secrets, yet we allow them to dominate large swaths of our lives. For some, that insecurity might be a vice; for others, it’s the shape of their body or the weight of a decade-old mistake. We live in constant fear that we’ll be "branded"… Continue reading And It Worked

Life

Already Home

I used to fear the word content. I heard it as a heavy, rusted anchor, a settling of the soul into the silt of the mundane. I thought it meant the end of the climb, the extinguishing of the fire, the quiet surrender of a heart that had simply stopped trying to grow. I saw… Continue reading Already Home