The Clever Confidante

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http://thecleverconfidante.com

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Always, your trusted friend

Posts by The Clever Confidante:
About Me
Welcome

Hi Friend,

I am an educator, mom, daughter, aunt, friend, soul searcher, and life long learner. I am glad you found your way here.

Stay awhile. I’ll speak with you as an old friend, tell you my secrets, lessons, fears, insecurities and give you a space space to feel you belong. That you, friend, are never alone.

Always, Your Trusted Friend ❤

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“Hungry people make poor shoppers”. We’ve all been the person in the grocery store, grabbing all the things we don’t need because we are shopping hungry – leaving the grocery store with chips, cookies, pastries, and all the sweet and salty goodies we crave when we go too long without properly fueling our bodies. The same is true when we are hungry for love and approval. There is danger in not tending to our own hearts, investing in our sense of self worth, and when we fail to fill the voids in us and – instead – look for for validation from external sources. We ‘shop hungry’, settling for crumbs of attention, bits of time, and limited connection. Instead, we should wait for the whole meal… but when we’re hungry… we don’t always make the best of choices. We grab the crap and gobble in down. When we crave love we will settle for scraps, permitting people to treat us poorly, often even making excuses for them out of our deep longing Maybe we even try to fix and repair ourselves, hoping that the end result will be the love that we so desperately crave. Because when you shop hungry, you buy crap. How do we ensure we’re not looking for love and approval in the wrong places? Thinking that the bare minimum of respect is sufficient, making excuses for all the gaps and leaks in the facade, ignoring the red flags. We tend our wounds. We learn to love and accept ourselves… and, maybe ,we seek professional help to teach us and guide us when we’re lost and floundering. If you’re full of self love and aware of your own worth you’ll pass on the crap, you’ll pass and wait on something truly delectable. You’ll recognize that the junk isn’t good for you, and you’ll make better choices. Always, Your Trusted Friend ❤️
Friend, I read this today and it resonates with me. . . We’ve all been the person in the grocery store grabbing all the things we don’t need because we are shopping hungry. . . The same is true when we are hungry for love and approval, when we fail to fill the voids in us, we ‘shop hungry’ and we settle for crumbs when we should wait for the whole meal. We allow people to treat us poorly. We make excuses for them. . . Maybe we even try to fix and repair ourselves, hoping that the end result will be the love that we so desperately crave. . . When you shop hungry, you buy crap. . . How do we ensure we’re not looking for love and approval in the wrong places? . . We tend our wounds. We learn to love and accept ourselves... and maybe we seek professional help to teach us and guide us when we’re lost and floundering. . . If you’re full of your full and aware of your own worth you’ll pass on the crap. . . You’ll recognize that the crap isn’t good for you, and you’ll make better choices. . . Always, Your Trusted Friend ❤️ #hungrypeople #fillyourcup #love #loveyourself #searchforlove #seeklove #selfworth #worthy #empower #empowerher #empowered #empowering #iseeyou
Friend, we have to love ourselves the way that we yearn for someone else to love us. . You want someone to choose you? Choose yourself, first. . You want someone to put you first, to make you a priority? Place yourself first. . You desire honesty and transparency? Be these things for yourself first. . Whatever those things you crave, want, and desire... do those things for you. . Be those things for you. . Don’t wait for someone to show up for you, otherwise you’ll be waiting for a very long time, friend. . Instead, by showing up for yourself you teach and show others your expectations, your boundaries, and what it is you expect from someone who wishes to enter and occupy space and time in your life. . Raise the price of admission into your sacred spaces. . But, first, love yourself. . Always, Your Trusted Friend ❤️
Friend, being a pawn in someone’s indecision feels like crap... but, ultimately, when we find ourselves as someone’s question mark it is because we’ve allowed ourselves to be placed there. . We are going to meet people in our lives who are not where we are, or ready for what we’re offering. . That’s okay. . But it doesn’t mean that we need to make ourselves smaller, diminish or alter our needs and wants, to meet them there. Nor should we put ourselves on pause until they catch up. . Being decisive can be intimidating. It can be scary to embark on something new, something that is unfamiliar. Something that isn’t certain. . Friend, you deserve the courage it takes to be someone’s exclamation mark. To be someone’s hell yeah. . Until then, don’t settle for the maybes. . Always, Your Trusted Friend ❤️
Friend, it’s hard to share with you that at times I’ve felt voiceless. When I envision how I want to be perceived in your eyes, this is the very last thing that I picture. Yet it’s true. I’ve been in situations where I have questioned my right or ability to speak up for myself and to draw much needed boundaries. . It’s important to speak about the significance of using your voice and speaking your truth because - unfortunately - there are times we do not trust our intuition and inner dialogue. We silence ourselves for fear of consequences. . I’ve done this much more than I’d like to admit in my interactions with men. Whether it’s a stranger entering into my personal space or saying an inappropriate comment, a love interest initiating intimacy when I am not ready or challenging my boundaries of acceptability...I’ve been made uncomfortable and have remained quiet. I’ve not used my voice. . Friend, how is a man - or anyone for that matter - going to respect me or my boundaries if I do not speak them into existence? . We need to speak. We need to speak without fear of repercussions or consequences. If our words are not adhered to we need to scream and shout. . Anyone who would choose not listen to my voice is not worthy of my time, my effort, or my energy. . Period. . Friend. I have had my personal boundaries tested and destroyed. I’ve let this happen, and it’s occurred by force. These are wounds I have to carry with me as I navigate life, but that it is also my responsibility to learn and grow from. Also, I have you. I have your strength, support, and encouragement to bolster me forward. . I won’t lose my voice again. I won’t let it stay within the confines of my brain. I will speak them into existence. . Please promise me that you’ll do the same. . Always, your trusted friend ❤️
{ N E W B L O G P O S T} Our hearts, our energy, our time are valuable commodities. We need to be particular about those people who we let share space in these golden spaces, because the people that we invite in become a part of us. . When we invite people who are unwilling to meet is equally, we diminish our own worth. We settle. We allow breadcrumbs to be enough. . During this time nit might be easy to settle for bread crumbs, as at least we have something... someone. It’s easy to put aside what we desire, want, and need when there is uncertainty regarding its attainability. . However, friend, if we do settle, we give a part of ourselves away. We allow the deepest parts of ourselves to be viewed and observed by someone who isn’t able to fully appreciate the magnificence of the view... . By doing so, we only serve to injure ourselves and settling for mediocre isn’t worth the pain when all we need to do is wait. . Wait for someone who will go all the way with you, and for you. You deserve nothing less than that. . Always, Your Trusted Friend ❤️ . #wait #neversettle #settle #allin #love #worthy #breadcrumbs #empower #empowering #youreworthit #thecleverconfidante #empowered #loved https://thecleverconfidante.com/2020/04/29/bread-crumbs/