When do I turn brand new?Does it happen all at oncepoof, she’s gone,like the flick of a magician’s wand? Or is it gradual,unnoticeduntil one day you look backand see the distance? Like staying with my auntwho lives next to the freewaythe first night,the roar is all I hear.It rattles the glass.Then one day,I realizeI don’t… Continue reading When Do I Turn Brand New
This is part of a three-year exploration of the Siren archetype that involves moving from survival to stillness, and finally, to sovereignty. For the last seven years, the ground wouldn't stop shaking. I thought I was being punished, but I was being uncoupled from the need for anyone else’s permission. In the chaos, I reached… Continue reading The Sovereign Siren
In farming, there is a season where the land is left unsown. To anyone passing by, the field looks empty. Quiet. Even wasteful, especially when the sun is high and the growing season is in full swing. It can look like neglect. Like laziness. Like something is being missed. But that stillness isn’t absence. It’s… Continue reading The Fallow Season
My heart has called me home. There was a certain sheepishness as I followed her call; I hadn't realized I'd abandoned her throne, leaving nothing but dust on her seat. Stress and anxiety had lured me away, whispering that my value lay in the lands of others. The relentless machine of obligation overwhelmed me. I… Continue reading My Heart
Insecurities are an interesting thing. We treat them like small, shameful secrets, yet we allow them to dominate large swaths of our lives. For some, that insecurity might be a vice; for others, it’s the shape of their body or the weight of a decade-old mistake. We live in constant fear that we’ll be "branded"… Continue reading And It Worked
I used to fear the word content. I heard it as a heavy, rusted anchor, a settling of the soul into the silt of the mundane. I thought it meant the end of the climb, the extinguishing of the fire, the quiet surrender of a heart that had simply stopped trying to grow. I saw… Continue reading Already Home
Memory is a story we tell ourselves to survive; the body is the truth we cannot edit. When I was young, I was molested by a babysitter’s son. I didn’t remember it for a long time. My young mind did what it needed to do to survive. It folded the memory neatly and tucked it… Continue reading What I Wasn’t Taught Was From Whom
Lately, I’ve been trying something new. I’m not curating the experience.I’m not forcing connection.I’m not providing insight or entertainment on demand. I’m just… arriving. And it’s making me feel acutely aware of myself, unexpectedly. Not in a self-love way. Not in a “finally at peace” way. More in the way you feel when someone pulls… Continue reading What to Do With My Arms
We’re living in a time that feels like an ugly, dangerous time loop. We’ve watched this story play out in different colors, religions, and cultures. Across the boundaries of different nations and places. But the pattern is the same. Conquer. Collect. Push certain people to the margins. Make them bad. Make them evil. Call them… Continue reading This is Not Strength
This is part of a three-year exploration of the Siren archetype that involves moving from survival to stillness, and finally, to sovereignty. As I re-read my thoughts from Power in Depth, I began to wonder about the mechanics of how we actually stay there safely. What happens when the “middle ground” stops feeling like a… Continue reading Part 2: The Physics of the Rise
