I Used to Leap

Photo by Sammy Chaffin on Unsplash

There used to be a time when we called for someone to catch us with no fear or trepidation.

A time when we were filled with wild abandon.

We trusted completely in the fact that the one we called to would catch us. We had no doubts.

Filled with such certainty, we were, we’d leap again and again.

Now I cannot help but wonder what happened to this absolute trust.

Maybe it disappeared with the disillusionment that came with false promises?

Instead, it seems that my heart remembers the pains inflicted on it much more clearly than the tender handling.

Perhaps because the injuries feel like a result of being lured into a false sense of safety by these instances?

Now I find it increasingly difficult to be vulnerable, to open my heart, to trust myself to leap.

When I do, it results in a very real desire to run and flee.

To escape and hide myself away.

I don’t leap as I used to.

My imaginary wings were stolen away from me.

Now my feet have lead.

Visualized there by a brain that perceives the hurts to come, not the joy in the flight, nor the potential safety in that waiting embrace.

Always,

Your Trusted Friend ♥️

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