Dancing with the Edges

There are two fundamental paths to growth and transformation: being compelled by circumstances beyond our control and actively choosing change.

The first often occurs when our lives hit a breaking point, a tower crumbling around us. In these moments, we’re left with no option but to salvage what we can and rebuild from the wreckage.

Many refer to this as hitting “rock bottom.” It’s a pivotal moment because it forces us to confront the reality that the only direction left is up.

How many of us have experienced this, knowing deep down that we could have acted sooner? We often receive hints and warnings along the way, but we choose to ignore them, clinging to familiarity even when it’s toxic because it’s what we know. It’s what’s comfortable.

So we continue toward the plument.

I recently reflected on a three-year relationship. My therapist pointed out that the third year was a bonus—it should have ended sooner. There were red flags I ignored because facing them would have meant facing the uncomfortable truth that I needed to leave, and once I acknowledged this, I’d have to make a choice.

I wasn’t ready for that choice.

Fear held me back. I closed my eyes and continued on a path I knew would lead to ruin – and it did.

My world shattered, and I had no choice but to leave.

But change doesn’t always have to come from hitting rock bottom. We have the power to choose it consciously.

To do so, we must first acknowledge our circumstances, take responsibility, and be willing to step outside our comfort zones.

Our comfort zones can be traps, keeping us small and preventing us from living our best lives. But when we dare to venture to the edges, we grow.

Instead of waiting for our lives to fall apart, we can proactively create space for ourselves to evolve.

I recently had the opportunity to join a women’s retreat filled with intellectually and emotionally intelligent women making significant changes in the world. Despite feeling like an imposter, I chose to embrace the unknown.

And it was transformative. The weekend was restful, rejuvenating, and empowering – a reminder of the rewards that come from stepping outside our comfort zones.