Exactly Where I Should Be

Confessions of a Late Bloomer Part 14

I used to imagine my future with a kind of cinematic precision.

I’d be settled by now.
A partner. A house. A shared Sunday morning routine.
Some combination of arms to fall into, and someone who always remembers to pick up milk.

But instead, I’m 46. Almost 47. A solo mom.
Without the partner I thought would be part of the story.
Without the map I used to measure “arrival.”

And still…
I have never felt more here.

Because while the life I planned didn’t happen, the life I built, the one that unfolded through heartbreak and hard-won joy, is quietly, tenderly… beautiful.

My home is filled with laughter and loud music, and takeout nights.
It’s where my daughter grows into herself and teaches me how to be braver than I ever was at her age.
It’s where I read late into the night, and water the plants, and dance in the kitchen, and sit in silence because I like the sound of my own company now.

There’s no one to share the covers with, but there are people who see me.
There’s no one to text “I’m home” to, but this house knows I’m safe.
There’s no grand love story to post about, but I’m surrounded by friendships that are tender, wild, and true.

I used to believe love had to look a certain way.
Now I see it everywhere.

A friend who sends a meme when I’m spiraling.
In the way my daughter leans her head on my shoulder during a movie.
In how I make my coffee in the morning, and take a moment to be in my body.

This life, this quiet, sacred, unscripted life, isn’t what I pictured.

It’s softer.
It’s steadier.
And somehow, more mine than anything I imagined at 16.

Because the roadblocks, the wrong turns, the mudslides that swept me off the planned path?

They didn’t ruin me.

They rerouted me toward a version of myself I’d never dreamed of being.

Not one following the map laid out by society.

But one I chose on my own,

following my own heartbeat.

I’m not late.
I’m not behind.
I’m not unfinished.

I am exactly where I should be.

Always,
Your Trusted Friend ❤️