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The Clever Confidante

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The Clever Confidante

Always, Your Trusted Friend.

Tag Archive Browsing Tag: heart strings

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June 4, 2019Happiness, Life, Love

Heart Strings

When I visualize my heart I see it battered and bruised. The evidence of old wounds. There would be signs, also, of my attempt to protect it; an old broken stone wall forgotten, and a battered shield lying to waste.

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Hi Friend,

I am an educator, mom, daughter, aunt, friend, soul searcher, and life long learner. I am glad you found your way here.

Always, Your Trusted Friend

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Happiness (19)
Life (25)
Love (15)

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{N E W B L O G P O S T}. Friend, how often do we spend time waiting on others? I’ve met so many people that embodies immeasurable potential... and I waited. • I waited to be seen, appreciated.... loved. I waited for someone to show up, to be ‘ready’. I’ve spent so much time putting myself on hold, as I waited on someone else. • Friend, don’t wait like this. People show you who they are and what they are capable of. Believe them. • Instead of putting yourself on hold while you wait for someone to live as much as you do, give as much as you do... choose you. Love yourself. Give to yourself... and hold out, wait, for people to arrive who match you. People who inspire you. Cherish you. Love and see you. • You, Friend, deserve all the things... allow them to come to you and choose to invest in the people that arrive fully. People you don’t have to wait on. • Always, Your Trusted Friend ❤️

{N E W B L O G P O S T} Friend, have you ever felt that you are hard to love, or as if you’re someone to ‘put up’ with? • I’ve heard these words uttered by women and read them numerous times. Women are so quick to point out all of the things that make them difficult. • Moody. Over-thinker. Insecure. Annoying. • All the things that make you feel not enough, or the moments when you feel you’re too much... • Are you, and they are perfect. • All of these things contribute to the person that you are. There is nothing about you that needs to be changed or altered in order for you to be more lovable. • You are lovable just as you are. • You’re lovable for the things you perceive to be good about you, but also those you think deserve apology. • No, you’re not always easy to get along with, and that’s okay. • I choose you just as you are. • Always, Your Trusted Friend ❤️

{N E W B L O G P O S T} Friend, most people spend some time in their lives dating. In dating we often find ourselves in those moments where we wonder what we should say, what we should do, and how we should behave in order to coerce someone else to like is. Often times we engage in the dating power struggle, refusing to share our feelings for fear of rejection and/or relinquishing our power in the budding relationship. • Suffice it to say, I am not the best at dating. I don’t adhere to any of the games that I feel are pushed down women’s throats from an early age. I’m not a damsel in distress, I don’t need saving, and I’m probably going to laugh too loudly and ask all the wrong questions. • However, I am guilty of suffering from immense fear at the idea is revealing to someone just how much I like, or am interested in them. I’d rather not initiate a first date, and I’m probably just going to stare at someone I want to kiss with weird laser eyes in order to mentally coax them to kiss me, rather then leaning in to make it happen. • You see, I don’t want to risk rejection. • However, Friend, this fear is causing me to miss out on potentially connecting with someone really great. For it is in our vulnerability that we connect. It is our unique character traits that others fall in love with, and if we don’t allow these things to be seen and known, if we don’t open our hearts and take the risks, we won’t find a genuine relationship. • Always, Your Trusted Friend❤️

{N E W B L O G P O S T} • Friend, I received some very hurtful words not long ago. To be honest, they hurt much more than they should have and are still playing over and over in my head. However, this hurt revealed two things to me. • First, it was a very stark reminder of the power of words. Words can wound and harm and leave unseen marks. Words have the ability to cause self doubt and cause us to question who we are. We need to be very intentional about the way in which we speak to people, for words scar. • Second, the words served as a reminder of just how vast the differences in perception can be, and that I have no control over the perception that another person forms of me. As much as I try to show up in the world a certain way, this in no way guarantees that I will be received in the way that I intend. • So, while this is another hard post to share, I think it’s too important not to. • Always, Your Trusted Friend ❤️

Friend, recently I was shown a reflection of myself that I did not like. Someone I cared deeply for thrust unkindly in my face the flaws that they perceived in me and used them to blame me for the decline and failure of our relationship. Cognitively I know that the words said to and about me had more to do with this person’s own mental health, well-being, and insecurities, the words and - what I felt was - an inaccurate perception of me - hurt deeply. The words still, weeks later, rankle and ring through my mind. Of all the people that we meet in life, every single one of them will have a different image and perception of who we are. This picture will more likely than not be drastically different from our own idea of who we are and who we are attempting to present and show to the world. I have to be honest with myself, I care an awful lot what other’s think of me. Perhaps too much. It matters to me if those around me like me. Because of this I have always worked hard to be kind, compassionate, and too nice. As a result I’ve put myself into positions where I’ve been taken advantage of and taken for granted. I’ve cared too much about what others think of me and have neglected my boundaries and let go of pieces of myself. I have let the perception of others encroach upon my self image. What a shame. Always, Your Trusted Friend ❤️

{N E W B L O G P O S T} Friend, I have had many people come in and out of my life. With each person I have connected there is always a permanent place in my heart that will forever been changed by their imprint. Whether it’s a festering wound left to scar, or a flower well tended and allowed bloom. All people mark us. . I’ve tried to visualize what my heart would look like if I could see all of these connections, and the battleground that it has become. The imagery that comes readily to mind is that of strands or strings. A filament that runs from my heart as evidence of the person that visited that tender space. . What might your strand look like? Have you cut and severed it, leaving it lost and forgotten? Have you stretched it so tautly that it snapped and broke cruelly? Or perhaps it glows with a fierce and loving warmth showing the tenderness shared? Have we become so intertwined that our strands are indistinguishable from one another? . Regardless, your strand is there. You’ve touched me and left your mark forever on my heart. . Always, Your Trusted Friend ❤️

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