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The Clever Confidante

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The Clever Confidante

Always, Your Trusted Friend.

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March 27, 2019Happiness, Life, Love

A Lesson, Not a Soul Mate

You have to see it for what it is. They’re a lesson, not a soul mate.

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Hi Friend,

I am an educator, mom, daughter, aunt, friend, soul searcher, and life long learner. I am glad you found your way here.

Always, Your Trusted Friend

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Happiness (21)
Life (27)
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{N E W B L O G P O S T} Friend, it matters how we treat others, particularly those we claim to care about. Our effort, our time, our words, our actions, and even our thoughts matter. • This past weekend I observed an older couple that I couldn’t take my eyes off. They were clearly very much in love and it made me wonder what magic they had to sustain what, by outside appearances, looked like genuine love and enjoyment of one another. • You could see it in the way she leaned so naturally into him, and the way that their hands touched. It was endearing and entrancing. • It reminded me of the type or relationship we should all be striving for... instead of settling because we are afraid of being lonely or alone. • Instead, wait. • Always, Your Trusted Friend ❤️ • • https://thecleverconfidante.com/2019/07/16/a-forever-love/

{N E W B L O G P O S T} Friend, we can become lost in our grief and heartbreak. There are times we can become so broken we can doubt our ability to navigate through hurt. • In these moments it is so important to have faith that there is always a way through the pain. Some pain will never go away, but you will learn a new way to live - with it - and you will be able find your own strength and rediscover joy. • Please know, Friend, that while there might not seem like a rational reason for whatever ills have befallen you, there can be a lesson. • Perhaps that lesson is to show you how to appreciate each moment as a gift, maybe it’s to show you your own inner strength, or perhaps it’s to reveal to you just how incredible the people who surround you are. • Always, Your Trusted Friend ❤️

{N E W B L O G P O S T} Friend, how often do we spend time waiting on others? I’ve met so many people who embody immeasurable potential... and I waited. • I waited to be seen, appreciated, and loved. I waited for someone to show up, to be ‘ready’. I’ve spent so much time putting myself on hold, as I waited on someone else. • Friend, don’t wait like this. People show you who they are and what they are capable of. Believe them. • Instead of putting yourself on hold while you wait for someone to love as much as you do, give as much as you do... to choose you. Love yourself. Give to yourself... and hold out, wait, for people to arrive who match you. People who inspire you. Cherish you. Love and see you. • You, Friend, deserve all the things... allow them to come to you and choose to invest in the people that arrive fully. People you don’t have to wait on. • Always, Your Trusted Friend ❤️

{N E W B L O G P O S T} Friend, have you ever felt that you are hard to love, or as if you’re someone to ‘put up’ with? • I’ve heard these words uttered by women and read them numerous times. Women are so quick to point out all of the things that make them difficult. • Moody. Over-thinker. Insecure. Annoying. • All the things that make you feel not enough, or the moments when you feel you’re too much... • Are you, and they are perfect. • All of these things contribute to the person that you are. There is nothing about you that needs to be changed or altered in order for you to be more lovable. • You are lovable just as you are. • You’re lovable for the things you perceive to be good about you, but also those you think deserve apology. • No, you’re not always easy to get along with, and that’s okay. • I choose you just as you are. • Always, Your Trusted Friend ❤️

{N E W B L O G P O S T} Friend, most people spend some time in their lives dating. In dating we often find ourselves in those moments where we wonder what we should say, what we should do, and how we should behave in order to coerce someone else to like is. Often times we engage in the dating power struggle, refusing to share our feelings for fear of rejection and/or relinquishing our power in the budding relationship. • Suffice it to say, I am not the best at dating. I don’t adhere to any of the games that I feel are pushed down women’s throats from an early age. I’m not a damsel in distress, I don’t need saving, and I’m probably going to laugh too loudly and ask all the wrong questions. • However, I am guilty of suffering from immense fear at the idea is revealing to someone just how much I like, or am interested in them. I’d rather not initiate a first date, and I’m probably just going to stare at someone I want to kiss with weird laser eyes in order to mentally coax them to kiss me, rather then leaning in to make it happen. • You see, I don’t want to risk rejection. • However, Friend, this fear is causing me to miss out on potentially connecting with someone really great. For it is in our vulnerability that we connect. It is our unique character traits that others fall in love with, and if we don’t allow these things to be seen and known, if we don’t open our hearts and take the risks, we won’t find a genuine relationship. • Always, Your Trusted Friend❤️

{N E W B L O G P O S T} • Friend, I received some very hurtful words not long ago. To be honest, they hurt much more than they should have and are still playing over and over in my head. However, this hurt revealed two things to me. • First, it was a very stark reminder of the power of words. Words can wound and harm and leave unseen marks. Words have the ability to cause self doubt and cause us to question who we are. We need to be very intentional about the way in which we speak to people, for words scar. • Second, the words served as a reminder of just how vast the differences in perception can be, and that I have no control over the perception that another person forms of me. As much as I try to show up in the world a certain way, this in no way guarantees that I will be received in the way that I intend. • So, while this is another hard post to share, I think it’s too important not to. • Always, Your Trusted Friend ❤️

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