Today is the midpoint of the 12 Days of Dreaming. The sixth day of Yule traditionally known as the Feast of Eir is devoted to healing, grace, and mercy. It reminds us to tend to wellness of ourselves and those we love, and to honor nourishment as both care and responsibility. Discipline here is not… Continue reading Day 6/12
Today marks the fifth day of the 12 Days of Dreaming. This is a day that turns our attention toward community, reciprocity, and the quiet responsibilities we hold toward one another. In older traditions, this day was devoted to hospitality; not as politeness, but as survival. To offer food, warmth, and welcome was to acknowledge our shared… Continue reading Day 5/12
Today marks the third day of the 12 Days of Dreaming. In Norse and Heathen traditions, this day is often dedicated to Máni, the god of the moon, and the virtue of courage. Máni does not blaze like the sun. He reflects. He illuminates what is already there. He illuminates the edges, paths, and quiet truths, guiding… Continue reading Day 3/12
Today is the second day of the 12 Days of Dreaming. This is a threshold period that is thin, luminous, and alive with symbolism. The dreams that arrive during these nights are said to speak in the language of the soul, offering intuitive messages about the year ahead. Each night corresponds with a month yet… Continue reading Day 2/12
The car was silent. The only sound was the tick-tick-tick of the engine cooling in the school parking lot. It’s just armor, and it looks heavy. Paige’s words weren't an echo. They were truth. Halley didn't drive home. Not right away. She drove to Mira's. It was an instinct. A pull, a "force" that had… Continue reading Halley: The Re-Direction
The "force" doesn't get to be sad. Not in public. The "force" gets to be angry, funny, or "unbothered." So Halley chose "unbothered." She was in the raw, hollowed-out aftermath of Kai, but she performed "fine" with terrifying skill. She screened Mira's calls, letting them go to voicemail, only to text back hours later: Just… Continue reading Halley: The Mirror
Author's Note Halley started as a mirror of my best friend, but she evolved into her own person. I think in some ways all three of these women I've written about are pieces of me. Mira represents my consciousness. My felt experience. The parts of me that I am aware of and actively healing. Mira's Story is the part of my identity that I identify with the most. Halley, she is my armor. She is outgoing with a bad picker that she uses to prevent getting hurt. Her 'force' and the 'performance' is the persona she deploys to keep the vulnerable, conscious self safe. And Paige. Paige is my shadow. She is the over analytical part that always needs a 'why' for everything. She's a perfectionist who tries to manage and control feelings by analyzing them. It's only been recently that I've become more aware of this shadow aspect of myself. So, while Halley, here, started as my best friend... she evolved into another part of me. A note on this chapter, "The Run": This is what Halley's armor looks like in action. It's the 'force' and 'performance' at its loudest, most desperate. It's her 'bad picker' pattern not as a flaw, but as a function. After being 'seen' by someone 'steady' (Theo), her entire system registers threat. The 'Halley' armor deploys to protect the vulnerable 'Mira' consciousness. 'The Run' is a pre-emptive strike—a flight away from the terrifying vulnerability of a 'foundation' and a dive into the familiar, 'shiny' chaos of a 'disco ball.' It’s a hollow, neon-lit performance to prove she's still 'free.' This is the part of the story where the armor 'works'… and in doing so, fails her completely.
Halley knew the after. The after-party. The after-image. The aftermath. She was the one who brought the snacks. The one who called you out. The one who held your hand in the trenches and never, ever left. Her life was a monument to the 'after,' to surviving. Her apartment was the physical proof: thrifted art,… Continue reading Halley: The Echo
Paige wanted to disappear.To lose herself in her work. She knew work. She understood it. Numbers, deadlines, performance. Those were measurable. Predictable. These new feelings, warring within her —guilt, relief, disappointment —were not ones she knew how to hold. The world around her felt muted, as though she were floating just above her own life.… Continue reading Paige: The Truth
It had been three months since Ellie saw the texts. Three months since the world had fractured, silently, from the inside. For Paige, it was three months of performing normalcy. She compartmentalized the secret, pushing it down, focusing on work, on logistics, on being the "good" wife and mother. She told herself it was over.… Continue reading Paige: The Attempt
