Two Things

So often, friend, we find ourselves as women doing one of two things.

We elevate.

We look at the woman next to us and wish that we looked like her, or that we had the things that she does, or we desire to live the life she’s leading. We look at this woman and feel ourselves diminished in her, perceived, radiance.

We place her on a pedestal, doing a disservice to her and to ourselves. We fail to see her as she really is, a complete person that while – yes – has amazing qualities and characteristics, is also flawed. Perfectly imperfect.

By placing other women on pedestals we place the expectation onto her that she has to always be and seem perfect.

How exhausting this must be? When – in reality – she just wants you to see her for who she is. To love and choose her anyways. We miss the opportunity to really know and see the women we place on pedestals.

In addition, we also feel ourselves shrink.

When one person is on the pedestal, the other must be at her feet.

Friend, you should bow to no one.

The second thing women do?

We tear down.

We look at the woman next to us and think of all the ways in which we are better. Whether we’re taller, thinner, more educated, better employed, or better behaved. We look at this woman and feel ourselves magnified in her, perceived, deficits.

We tear her down, doing a disservice to her and to ourselves. We fail to see her as she really is, a complete person that while – yes – has inadequacies and flaws, additionally has wondrous qualities and characteristics. Imperfectly Perfect.

By diminishing other women and tearing them down, we stifle and constrict. We prevent these women from growing into who she was meant to be, and squash her under foot of our judgments.

How sad this must be for her when – in reality – she just wants you to see her for who she is. To love and choose her anyways. We miss the opportunity to really know and see the women we tear down.

In addition, we shrink ourselves with this unfair behavior.

When one person attempts to place themselves on a pedestal, they really just reveal their own inner spitefulness.

Friend, you should tear no woman down. You are no judge and jury to determine the worthiness of another.

Instead, let us support and believe in one another. Let’s look for the good, but accept the bad. Let us appreciate the fact that we are ALL multidimensional perfectly imperfect, imperfectly perfect people.

Friend, stop elevating and refuse to tear down.

Always,

Your Trusted Friend ❤