Establish and maintain your boundaries with vigilance.
It is no ones responsibility but our own to declare what it is we want, and to maintain those boundaries. It is our job, our most important one, to take care of ourselves.
Friend, it’s hard to share with you that at times I’ve felt voiceless. When I envision how I want to be perceived in your eyes, this is the very last thing that I picture. Yet it’s true. I’ve been in situations where I have questioned my right or ability to speak up for myself and I have neglected to draw much needed boundaries.
It’s important to speak about the significance of using your voice and speaking your truth because – unfortunately – there are times we do not trust our intuition and inner dialogue. We silence ourselves for fear of consequences.
I’ve done this much more than I’d like to admit in my interactions with men, in particular. There have been strangers whom have entered into my personal space or have spoken an inappropriate comment. There have also been love interests whom have initiated intimacy when I have not been ready, or my boundaries of acceptability have been pushed and challenged.
I’ve been made uncomfortable and have remained quiet.
I’ve not used my voice.
Friend, how is a man – or anyone for that matter – going to respect me or my boundaries if I do not speak them into existence?
We need to speak. We need to speak without fear of repercussions or consequences – for the consequences of not speaking are far worse. Not speaking costs us our sense of self worth and doesn’t allow us to lead our lives as we genuinely wish to.
And, if our words are not adhered to we need to scream and shout.
It doesn’t matter if your discomfort is caused by something as seemingly benign as someone entering into your personal space, such as, an unwanted hug or a brush of the hand – or if that discomfort is the result of much more things obvious infringements, such as, inappropriate words, advances, or images.
It is my responsibility to vocalize when a boundary has been crossed, and it is the other person’s responsibility to respect the limits that I have established.
I will say this again and again, anyone who would choose not listen to my voice is not worthy of my time, my effort, or my energy.
Friend, I have had my personal boundaries tested and destroyed. I’ve let this happen, and it’s occurred by force. These are wounds I have to carry with me as I navigate life, and it is my responsibility to learn and grow from these harsh lessons.
There is no trepidation in this journey moving forward, for I have you. I have your strength, support, and encouragement to bolster me forward.
Also, I know that I won’t lose my voice again. I won’t let it stay within the confines of my mind. I will speak all the necessary words into existence.
Please promise me that you’ll do the same.
Our voices deserve to be spoken. Our voices deserve to be heard. Our voices deserve to be respected.