What Love Looks Like

Posted on March 19, 2021 by The Clever Confidante

“I used to secretively watch Nick listening to Alice when she told a story; that tender, proud look he got on his face, the way he laughed harder than anyone else when she said something funny or typically Alice. He got Alice, the way we did, or maybe even more so than us. He made her more confident, funnier, smarter. He brought out all the things that were there already and let her be fully herself, so she seemed to shine with this inner light. He loved her so much, he made her seem even more lovable.”
Liane Moriarty, “What Alice Forgot”

Of all the things I’ve read and experienced in regards to the topic of love, this struck me as a fairly accurate depiction of what I desire in love and commitment. Not only in my romantic entanglements, but also in my friendships – in those people that I keep closest to me.

To be loved by someone who looks at me with pride and amazement, whose hands have an irresistible urge to touch and caress me, whose love is so clear and tangible that I am left with no doubts, and am thus able to live without the fear of rejection, or of not being good enough — because with every look and touch I’m told;

You’re special, I choose you.

This love isn’t one that strives to change or alter me in any way. It is one which sees into me and ‘gets’ me.

When we feel someone really sees us, friend, then we can’t help but feel more confident, funnier, smarter…

No one makes us these things by what they say or do, but by the way that they are tender with us.

Those that look at us with pride and a relishment have the ability to encourage us to be fully in line with who we are at our core.

These are the people that we can’t help but feel ourselves settle in to being the most authentic and genuine version of ourselves.

It’s as if love is coaxing that best version of ourselves to come forward.

This isn’t a love that goes one way, either.

It’s reciprocal.

Flowing both ways from one to the other. Each person perpetually growing and blooming into themselves.

These are the only type of people that you should surround yourself with.

The people that challenge you, uplift you, inspire you because of who they are.