We all crave intimacy, and yet it’s the scariest thing in the world to receive for it requires vulnerability.
Vulnerability – my friend – demands that we give up control.
For so many of us control is a way in which we protect ourselves from pain, from hurt, from being broken.
The danger of intimacy is that it can result in abandonment, of opening ourselves up and being found not enough.
So, we hide ourselves away, keep aloof, in order to protect from this unconscious fear.
In the process, though, we miss out on deep intimacy that is created when we’re vulnerable and seen.
One of the most basic needs we have as human beings is connection.
We want to know and be known.
Not just for how we make others feel, but for who we are – deep inside.
There is this urge to be someone special and not just someone used to fill time with.
So often we settle in our relationships because we’re afraid to be alone.
We settle for a warm body, for a time filler.
When, really, what we long for is to be someone special to someone special.
A connection in a world that seems so loud, so busy, and – so often – so very, very lonely.
For some people a warm body is enough when it is stacked up against the option of loneliness.
Not for me.
It’s okay to be alone in a loud world – as long as it means that I’m not settling for being a soft warm body for someone to hold on to just because they are too afraid to be alone.
I’d rather be alone, then to be a filler in another person’s world.
For others they will spend copious amounts of time to try and earn connection, or to prove that they are ‘good enough’ for it.
Instead, though, we need to be willing enough.
Willing to show up as the unique version of ourselves. Willing to wait until we’re seen. Willing to let go.
So, in the meantime, I’ll practice vulnerability and relinquish control in order to be seen and chosen for my own personal brand of magic.
That’s the only kind of love anyone should be willing to settle for.
One that sees you as you are, and loves you there.
Appreciates it, but understands that where you are today isn’t where you’ll be found tomorrow.
Today this serves as a reminder, that my life and love is magical and I only want to share it with someone who can see and revel in it.
Until then, I’m not just a warm body – and nor are you.
Your Trusted Friend ❤️