Pain requires healing, friend.
We will be broken, hurt, disappointed, and abandoned… and, friend, this isn’t a terrible fate. This may sound confusing to you. Why would suffering be good, you wonder?
Why? Because it shows us who we are, friend. This mirror is what allows us to take a good long look at ourselves and decide if we’re happy with the reflection that we see and to evaluate what needs work.
This isn’t easy. I won’t lie to you and sugarcoat it and pretend like it is. It’s hard to look at ourselves like this. However, it’s necessary for growth. It’s needed to elevate ourselves to the next level – beyond the current hurts.
So, friend, take a good, long, hard look. Take it in. Don’t make excuses for the mistakes you’ve made, or the ways in which you’ve let yourself and others down. We all play a role. What was yours?
You see, if we don’t face these things and take the necessary time to heal them, they tend to rear their ugly heads at the most inopportune time. Don’t distract yourself from the hurt and pain, don’t try to cover it up and bury it deep, for it won’t go away and, eventually, it will force you to address it… often times in the ugliest of ways.
Maybe your heart was broken by an infidelity. This left you feeling insecure, inadequate, alone, and unworthy. Friend. I have been in this place. Looking at a relationship broken by someone else’s dishonesty and wondering all the wrong things.
What is wrong with me?
What did I do to deserve this?
What about me is so unlovable?
There is nothing wrong with me. Do you know something else? There is nothing wrong with you. I hope you see the lies of those thoughts… but if you don’t take the time to address them… to look at the doubts and insecurities, pack them up and send them on their way… they will NOT go away on their own.
You can cover them up by amassing attention from new men, convincing yourself of your appeal because of the attention heaped onto you by others. Perhaps you dive into work. Making yourself invaluable and letting this become what your self-worth is built upon.
But these are just camouflage. Outside efforts to cover up the hurt that you suffered. You need address these things and build your self-worth upon the realities of who you are innately… without your accomplishments and the attentions of others… for these things, too, can be taken away.
You are miraculous.
You are magical.
You are powerful and unique and beautiful.
Friend, believe these things about yourself. There is nothing you have to do to earn this or to deserve this. You don’t need anyone else to like you, believe in you, or to need you for these things to be true.
They just are.
Your trusted friend ♥