Your thoughts are not reality, they are just thoughts.
How often do we get stuck in that place, though, trapped in the mire of our thoughts believing them to be real?
We create ourselves with our own imaginary worlds.
This is the weight, the gravity, and the importance of our thoughts.
Our thoughts, when we think them again and again and again, start to become beliefs.
These beliefs shape the lens through which we view the world, often looking for evidence to support what we’ve learned to believe about ourselves.
I’ve been guilty of this, particularly in my romantic relationships.
First, I’ve selected partners who – often – are emotionally or physically unavailable.
This inability on their part to choose me fully has confirmed a belief that I’ve had about myself that I am unlovable and not worthy of being chosen.
Secondly, when the relationship is, as it is destined, ended it again confirmed that belief about myself that I would never be fully loved, that there was something implicitly wrong with me that prevented me from being chosen.
It was a terrible cycle that was all self-created out of false beliefs that only existed within my mind.
I wrote my story of what I thought was possible based on what I believed was true of myself and acted accordingly in my selection of partners.
Every rejection, infidelity, lie, or disappointment experienced was a result of my own participation in creating that narrative.
When my last mentally and emotionally abusive relationship ended it became very clear to me that I was experiencing a pattern and that, while what I suffered at the hands of others was inexcusable, I had to accept responsibility for my role.
There was one common denominator in each of these relationships and that was me.
My negative thought cycle had trapped me in the belief that I wouldn’t be loved or chosen, so I dated people that affirmed this belief about myself.
This was a hard pill to swallow, my friend. That I alone was responsible for the pain and suffering experienced through my relationships through my choosing.
Once I recognized my role, friend, I could start making the necessary changes to alter the life that I was creating for myself that was rooted in my thoughts.
It is the quality of my thoughts that creates the quality of my life.
So, I needed to start thinking better thoughts.
This began for me with learning to dismiss the lies that are born of doubt, anxiety, and insecurity.
I will literally imagine myself flicking these thoughts out of my mind bubble and not giving these negative thoughts any power to assert themselves into a belief system.
I actively choose to focus my thoughts – instead – on that, I am loved, that I am worthwhile, that I matter, and that I am chosen.
There is so much power in drawing these types of conclusions about myself because it serves to change the reality that I create for myself because, in truth, I am the creator.
I decided, just as you do, what thoughts to give power to in creating my beliefs and defining my life and how I experience it
and it all starts in my thoughts.
Your Trusted Friend ❤︎