Of the 95% of people who believe that they are self-aware, only 10% of people actually are.
On my own journey of wellness, introspection, and self-awareness I remember hearing this quote by Tasha Eurich in a TED talk.
Her findings came down to one very important distinction between those who really were self-aware and those who were not; the question one asks when faced with adversity.
Those who believe that they are self-aware and those who actually are do take time for introspection. It’s important to look within, this is something no one is going to argue against.
However, introspection doesn’t result in happiness.
More often than not it can cause stress, depression, a loss of control because we’re asking ourselves the wrong question.
When you ask the wrong question you get stuck in the mind trap.
Personally, I call the mind trap my inner mean girl. I know someone else that calls it Becky.
When hardships happen, whatever they may be, and you attempt to understand the why or the meaning behind it you get stuck in a mental prison.
Asking why is the wrong question, one in which there will never be a satisfactory answer.
The more you search for one, the more you fixate until you wind up inventing answers to fit your narrative.
For example, you may suffer a break-up.
In this scenario, if you ask yourself why, why did this happen? You may find yourself answering this question by saying it must be because there is something wrong with you and that you’re unlovable.
Asking why leads you away from the truth and clouds your self-perception.
There is nothing wrong with you and you’re not unlovable, but this invented answer may fit the narrative you’ve created for yourself and results in getting stuck in a mind trap.
Instead, of asking why, ask WHAT.
Introspection that asks this question results in actionable steps. This is the type of question that can produce answers and direction.
After a break-up instead of asking yourself why questions that result in a clouded self-perception, ask what questions; What do I need for healing right now?
What can I learn from this relationship?
What patterns did I see in my last relationship and how has this pattern shown up before?
What have I been struggling to let go of?
What do I need to take responsibility for?
What do I want in my next relationship?
Asking these types of questions leads you closer to your truth and directs you to the type of future you want to live, instead of trapping you in the review mirror of why.
Your Trusted Friend ❤︎