Opening yourself up to something new can be scary, whatever that ‘new’ might be.
It’s easy to get stuck in comfort and what is known and familiar.
While I do think that there is something valuable in being able to be content in life, I also think that it is equally valuable to grow and expand.
There will be people who are able to make room for your growth, and will celebrate.
On the flip side, there will also be people who will not be able to accommodate.
There have been times when I have played small out of fear of losing those that had an inability to make room for my growth.
So I squashed myself, like squeezing into jeans two sizes to small, I bore the discomfort because it was known and familiar and didn’t cost me anything extra… except my discomfort.
As a woman this has been a burden that I’ve been conditioned to bear, to put the needs and comfort of others ahead of my own.
To be self sacrificing.
As I’ve gotten older and recognized what this has cost me, I’ve had to unlearn this habit and learn – instead -to put myself first and that by doing so it doesn’t make me selfish.
I recently learned of a potential opportunity, a whisper of something new.
It excited me, but my first thought wasn’t on what would be best for me, what would be best for my quality of life, it was on what I’d be leaving behind and what that would mean for those that a would be impacted by my absence.
So, I prepared for a possible shift and imagined myself leaving the comfort that I’d established.
There was a whole life I was able to visualize for myself that I hadn’t even contemplated before and with this vision I prepared to act as soon as the possibility became reality.
In this space I felt myself grow and while the opportunity didn’t materialize, I feel a new found freedom in the fact that I was open to possibility, to change, and to stepping outside of the life that’s become so familiar to me.
Additionally, I embraced the disappointment.
That’s where I am now.
Disappointed and releasing a vision I had for myself, while leaving space for something else to bloom and grow.
Apparently, this round, was just the practice match.
Your Trusted Friend