Dating Disappointments: Embracing Rejection

Recently, I went on a date that didn’t quite spark.

We gathered to enjoy live music, a backdrop of vibrant energy and rhythm. It was probably one of the most beautiful dates I’ve ever been on.

The audience sat amidst the blooming flowers on a flower farm, the folk singer and her guitar on the front porch of a greenhouse – the sun setting behind it as the moon rose behind us.

I arrived with a hopeful heart, envisioning the possibility of a connection. But as the night unfolded, it became clear my date was preoccupied—not with our conversation, but with the performer on stage.

His eyes were almost literally full of hearts.

A week later, I received an unexpectedly long text message detailing why he didn’t feel a connection.

And there I was, caught off guard. I felt a rush of disappointment, even though I wasn’t interested and had sensed it was mutual, his words still stung. A reminder that sometimes, despite our hopes, things simply don’t align.

Reading it on the phone screen still stung, especially when he put into words what I’d sensed; that he’d been “crushing big time on the singer.”

It was like I had taken a fall on a bumpy road—discomfort mixed with a touch of self-doubt.

I was reminded of a quote I recently stumbled upon: “You don’t need closure. You need to move on.”

Ah, moving on. If only it were as easy as it sounds.

This experience made me think about pants.

I know this is odd.

But sometimes when you’re feeling a little self-doubt a metaphor can come to the rescue.

In this case, it comes in visualizing my favorite pair of pants.

We all have that favorite pair, right? The ones that fit just right, hugging you in all the right places, complementing your figure, and moving with your body in a way that makes you feel like you can conquer the world.

But sometimes, you try on a new pair, and while they might look great, they pinch in all the wrong places. You realize they’re just not your style.

It doesn’t mean there’s something wrong with you or that the pants don’t have their own admirers.

We often get tangled in wanting others to see our worth—wanting to know the “why” behind their choices.

Why didn’t they choose me? Why didn’t they feel that spark?

But the truth is, not everyone will fit your rhythm, and that’s perfectly valid.

So, what’s the takeaway?

Embrace the discomfort of rejection.

Because who wants to squeeze into an ill-fitting pair of pants?

It’s a part of life, this trying on and taking off what doesn’t fit.

Acknowledge your feelings, allow yourself to feel bummed, but also remember that the next person you meet might just be the perfect fit for you.

Let’s not dwell on trying to convince others of our value. Instead, let’s simply be ourselves, move on, and trust that the right people will appreciate us for all our wonderful quirks.