Face the Bear

Friend, relationships are difficult.

They require work, whether that is picking up the phone to chat, planning and spending time together, or settling in to have the hard conversations…

…they, relationships, require effort.

Additionally, we all have triggers, pasts, and ‘imperfections’.

The closer you get to someone, my friend, the more likely these things will reveal themselves.

When they do, will you have the conversations, will you be willing to see someone for who they are and still say yes?

Will you be able able and willing to stand with them and hold space for them?

Will you be able to allow these things, when they rise up, to run their course while you remain centered, focused and confident?

And, what if – friend – you are?

You’re a full body yes, but the one you’re with is indecisive about whether or not they can stand with you?

What if, the one you’re with, when your triggers, past, and imperfections rise up, is unable to stand and hold space for you?

What if, instead, they show you who they are by yelling, fighting, or running away instead of remaining centered, focused and confident for you?

What then?

Friend, you choose you.

You love yourself the way you want to be loved and you let go.

You cannot force or coerce anyone to be ready to jump into the deep end of a relationship.

Real relationships require a scary amount of vulnerability, honesty, and transparency to both see and be seen completely, and it isn’t always pretty.

We carry with us scars, and while it’s no one else’s job to fix us – it is their job to choose us by holding space with us when the inevitable happens and we let the ugly bits loose.

Often we are too scared to let people this close, going into freeze, flight, or fight, as our bodies are geared to protect us from the unknown.

As our brain senses the danger of vulnerability, of possible hurt and rejection, it triggers those same urges as when faced with a bear.

We need people who will face down the bear with us.

Who when scared by vulnerability will, instead of running from the ugly bits, sit down with us and create true intimacy and connection as we reveal all of who we are.

That’s the reward, and it has to be worth it for both if you.

If not, choose you, because there is no relationship in which you can face the bear alone and ALL of you deserves to be seen and chosen.

Always,

Your Trusted Friend ❤️