Life Preserver
Your self worth cannot be tied to anything external of you.
Not your job, your partner, your appearance, your family, the clothes you put on, your kids, or your friends.
I don’t usually like the use of absolute statements, but in this case I think it is applicable.
You should NEVER define yourself or find your worth in anything that is external.
You might be asking yourself why at this point.
Because, my friend, everything outside of you is temporal and changeable.
Jobs can be lost, moods of people are constantly in flux, appearances and fashion alters over time, kids grow up, and friendships evolve and change.
The only place you should find your worth is within. That should be your constant.
If you find your worth within then nothing external of you can destroy or take it away.
This by no means says you can’t be rocked by external changes, because you will.
Life has a way of engulfing and overwhelming us – but if you have learned to trust yourself and who you are, THAT – my friend – is your life preserver.
I say this as someone who spent a great deal of my life creating myself and viewing myself through the opinions of others.
External opinions and failures had the power to destroy me. To the point, my friend, that after my divorce I thought very seriously of suicide.
I genuinely felt that if someone could leave me the way that my ex did then there must be something very very wrong with me.
If I were a house, then this heartbreak tore me down to the studs.
This was necessary, for it allowed me to rebuild who I was and how I understood myself. I learned to love and trust myself, deeply, and there was absolutely nothing wrong with me.
There is another absolute.
You should believe this about yourself as well, my friend.
There is NOTHING wrong with you.
You are so lovable and so very worthy – but don’t believe it because I say it, believe it because it’s true and you know this in your very cells.
You will always be your own life preserver then, and life – while it can rock and swamp you – will not have the ability to easily sink you.
Always,
Your Trusted Friend ❤️
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Always, Your Trusted Friend
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The Clever Confidante 
You published this one on my birthday, thank you.☺️
Thank you because I land in “what’s wrong with me??” so often, the acrobatics of attempting to solve that are beginning to contribute to the problem.
In so doing, I made an insensitive, thoughtless choice that may well have cost me a tremendous ally I cherish and respect so deeply. The half life between when the thing was done and how much time passing it had been forgotten beneath is contributing to the damage. I want so very much to heal the damage, I want so very much for that to be believed and welcome.
I fear I may be defeated here. I can’t see past it if so. Being happy and stronger than ever together means so much more to me than being justified at all in my poor conduct, I want very much for that happiness and strength together to endure. Not for sake of codependency, for sake of growth, celebration, love, integrity.
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