Finding Balance and Manifesting Dreams

How do we prevent our dreams, goals, and all the things we wish to manifest in our lives from happening?

Working through shadow work has allowed me to confront the barriers I’ve unknowingly erected within myself. It’s a process of shining a light on the unhealed wounds and the coping mechanisms that no longer serve my growth.

The importance of healing these wounds cannot be overstated. Untended, they become like sore muscles or broken bones – tender spots we instinctively move to protect from further injury. Yet, it’s precisely these unhealed wounds that often trigger behaviors detrimental to our well-being.

Imagine reflexively guarding a tender spot on your body to prevent it from being agitated or injured further. In the same way, we instinctively shield our emotional injuries from any form of agitation. But just as a neglected physical injury can worsen over time, so too can our emotional wounds fester and intensify if left unaddressed.

As I’ve re-evaluated my goals and desires, I’ve had to confront how I’ve hindered my evolution. This sobering realization holds the promise of profound transformation. By looking at how I’ve unintentionally gotten in my own way, I’ve begun to unravel the patterns that have held me back and reclaim agency over my own narrative.

Looking into the shadows has also allowed me to understand the transformative power of this discomfort. It has been a catalyst for self-discovery. Revealing all the patterns that keep me stuck, trapped in cycles of imbalance and unfulfilled potential.

This theme of imbalance resonates in many areas of my life.

This pattern of relentless pursuit of extremes, driven by societal pressure to “go hard or go home,” was a mentality ingrained from a young age. The belief that success requires sacrificing everything else. But as I have pushed myself to the brink of burnout time and time again, I have realized the danger and fallacy of this approach to living.

I hate how this phrase and ideology permeates society and becomes a part of our lives.

It screams at me to burn myself out and expend all that I am in the pursuit of ‘more.’

It doesn’t speak to or encourage a balanced approach to life.

No, it fosters and encourages the notion that success is solely attained through relentless hard work. It suggests that if we exert enough effort, we will inevitably achieve our desires. Conversely, any perceived failure is attributed to our supposed lack of effort.

This mindset implies that success solely depends on working hard, overlooking any other factors that could come into play.

So, we ‘work hard, play hard.’

I call bullshit.

This mindset propels us into a relentless cycle of extremes, swinging from one end of the spectrum to the other will reckless abandon. In our pursuit of success through sheer hard work, we find ourselves torn apart at the seams, our well-being sacrificed at the altar of productivity and fear of being or appearing ‘lazy.’

It leaves us fractured and exhausted, unable to maintain balance.

All patterns we adopt, in some way, serve us.

This pattern propelled me through college, where I juggled three jobs while simultaneously participating in collegiate sports, student government, and expanding my social circle. The pace continued into graduate school and persisted as I transitioned into my career and became a parent.

Yet, as I pushed myself relentlessly, I noticed cracks in the facade.

Each time I attempted to slow down, illness crept in, like a persistent shadow finally catching up to me. Even a dangerous bout of pneumonia failed to deter my relentless pursuit of productivity.

It wasn’t until the onset of the pandemic that I was forcibly confronted with the unsustainable nature of my lifestyle—a reality shared by countless others.

The collective pause forced upon us by the pandemic served as a stark reminder of the imbalance that permeated my life, revealing that this unsustainable pace could not be sustained in the long term.

The COVID-19 pandemic served as a wake-up call, prompting a reevaluation of priorities and values. It was a period of forced introspection, where the discomfort of uncertainty forced me to confront my lifestyle’s unsustainable nature and become aware of the breakneck speed at which I’d been operating.

Through this discomfort, I began to understand the importance of balance – not as a luxury but as a necessity for sustainable growth and well-being. It’s about finding harmony amidst the chaos, nurturing all aspects of ourselves, and honoring our need for rest and rejuvenation.

“Going hard” isn’t admirable or heroic if it comes at the expense of well-being, health, and vitality.

Being perceived as ‘lazy’ isn’t something to fear or avoid.

Instead, it’s about cultivating a life that fosters an optimal environment for growth, joy, rest, self-discovery, and self-love to flourish. These aspects of life aren’t nurtured in the midst of exhaustion, depletion, and avoidance brought about by imbalance. They require space, nourishment, and a gentle balance between striving and surrendering.

As I continue toward self-discovery and healing, I’m struck by the connection between inner balance and the manifestation of our dreams.

By confronting our shadows and embracing discomfort, we clear the path for abundance and fulfillment to flow into our lives.

We get out of our own way.

Always,

Your Trusted Friend