Choose Connections Where You Like the Version of Yourself

A recent realization struck me: the version myself that emerges can vary significantly depending on the company I keep.

As I reflected on this insight, I recognized the importance of seeking relationships where I genuinely like the version of myself that appears when I am with them.

This understanding highlights just how crucial it is to surround ourselves with people that encourage and support the most authentic fulfilling aspects of who we are.

People who make us feel safe and valued.

As we seek meaningful connections, whether romantic or platonic, one of the most profound insights is to seek relationships where you genuinely like the version of yourself that emerges.

We often spend considerable energy trying to mold ourselves to fit others’ expectations, hoping to earn their approval or affection.

But, this approach can lead us away from genuine connections and self-acceptance.

I say this from experience. Attempting to win approval will always lead us further from ourselves and the true connections we seek and desire.

Instead, consider this: show up in relationships as your true self, in all your fullness, and observe who you naturally attract.

As people are drawn to your authentic self, take note of the aspects of yourself that these relationships bring to the forefront.

We are complex individuals with diverse interests, values, and vulnerabilities, all of which can be triggered and highlighted in different relational contexts.

I am sure you’ve heard the statement that you are most like the top five people you spend the most time with.

This concept, often referred to as the ‘top five’ theory, suggests that surrounding yourself with people you admire and respect can encourage you to grow into the best version of yourself, as their values and behaviors influence your own.

For example, I have friends who stimulate my curiosity and intellectual engagement. We have deep conversations on various topics, exploring everything openly. Yet, in this dynamic, my playful side isn’t as encouraged to come to forefront.

On the other hand, I have other friends who bring out my playful, childlike self. We indulge in spontaneous fun and laughter, indulging in whimsy and joy. While these relationships nurture my playful spirit, it might not inspire the same depth of emotional and intellectual exploration.

I also have friends who offer profound emotional support and understanding. They provide a safe space where I can explore and express my deepest feelings, helping me navigate emotional highs and lows. Yet, in these relationships, my creative impulses might not always have an outlet.

Meanwhile, other friends spark my creativity and imagination. Together, we easily create artistic projects and brainstorm new ideas, fueling my creative spirit. However, in these dynamics, my emotional depth might not be as deeply engaged or explored.

In most of my relationships, regardless of which aspects of myself are nurtured or brought to the forefront, there are areas in which I find myself challenged as they mirror to me the areas in need of growth.

I struggle with finding balance and often navigate between extremes. Certain relationships highlight this tendency, pushing me to confront how I manage my emotions and decisions.

These connections, while difficult, are invaluable as they prompt me to address and work on my imbalance. Offering insights into how I might lead a more balanced life. Regardless of the positive aspects these relationships may able bring how, they help me recognize and work on areas that require growth.

It is through my relationships that I find the largest impetus for growth.

Reflect on what aspects of yourself become more prominent, bold, or encouraged in various relationships.

Do you like these facets?

If you notice that certain aspects of yourself are not being supported in some relationships while others are, it’s important to evaluate these dynamics.

Determine if these relationships can adapt to support the neglected parts of yourself, or if you need to seek additional connections or activities that fulfill those unmet needs.

Growth often comes from outside of your comfort zones, but it’s equally important to find relationships that nurture and support your core self.

By understanding which relationships highlight different aspects of who we are, we can better discern which dynamics allow us to be our most authentic and fulfilling selves.

This awareness helps you to cultivate deeper, more meaningful connections that resonate with your true essence, engaging with those who appreciate and inspire the fullest expression of who we are, rather than fitting into molds that don’t serve your growth.

Ultimately, seek relationships where you like the version of yourself that emerges understanding that no single relationship will meet all of your needs.

All of our connections in life offer unique opportunities for growth and thriving.

Always,

Your Trusted Friend 🖤