If someone hurts me, takes advantage of me, takes me for granted, is insensitive, rude, or fails to value me, it is my responsibility to speak up. Space in my life is valuable, and if you want to occupy a portion of that space you better rise the f*ck up, because I no longer have time, energy, or f*cks to waste on takers, manipulators, or liars. If showing you my boundary freaks you out or makes you feel I am demanding or needy – there is the damn door.
So, friend, if you ever find yourself in these dark moments – the ones you’re not sure you can navigate through to the other side – please have faith in yourself and, even though you can’t see it yet, the happiness that awaits you.
Don’t wait to feel loved, desired, or wanted. Because before you know it, time will have gone by and all you’ll have done is waited for someone who was never worth this wait, and now that time is wasted and squandered on someone undeserving.
I sat across from a woman as she told me that she was hard to love. There were a litany of reasons, and she listed them all. She suffered from mood swings, was damaged and easily triggered, has ‘issues’, is crazy, overreacts and over-thinks, and is riddled by insecurities.
The dating power struggle… this is the struggle that occurs when one or the other person within the dating dynamic feels that they have to give up some of their power by doing a ‘major first’. A major first – in essence – is an act that reveals the hand a person holds and exposes a little bit of the ol’ heart, thus making one person in the due vulnerable. These firsts could take the guise of asking someone out, initiating the first kiss, saying the first I love you, or a multitude of things in between.
As I’ve tried so desperately to control the ideas others form of me in their minds based on the delicately crafted persona that I show to the world. Despite my best efforts to be vulnerable, genuine, authentic, and real – I still care what others think of me, as I want those thoughts to be positive and complementary.
If words on the page have the ability to transport us to different places, making us suspend our disbelief, then it stands to reason that words coming from the people around us can have even more of an impact, because they come from people who matter to us.