Friend, most of the time we’re merely broken people, stumbling around breaking other people. We are careless with our words, our actions, and our deeds. Seldom taking notice of what matters, what is important, and what could make us whole until after we’ve destroyed it.
...patterns, routines and schedules can be detrimental. Sometimes we start to live as if we're sleepwalking brainless zombies, merely going through the motions, but not really taking part in our lives. Then there are the patterns, friend, that reveal to us our wounds in need of healing.
Maybe I speak too boldly, assuming others suffer from the same debilitating fear that I do, but I don't think so... and if this resonates with you at all, friend, I invite you to let go with me. Let go of the fear, the worry, the anxiety and insecurity. Let go of the doubt, the uncertainty, the hesitation, and anything that holds you back and prevents you from grabbing hold off whatever it is you are afraid to grasp.
If someone hurts me, takes advantage of me, takes me for granted, is insensitive, rude, or fails to value me, it is my responsibility to speak up. Space in my life is valuable, and if you want to occupy a portion of that space you better rise the f*ck up, because I no longer have time, energy, or f*cks to waste on takers, manipulators, or liars. If showing you my boundary freaks you out or makes you feel I am demanding or needy - there is the damn door.
Friend, choose to find joy in uncertainty - in the unknown, anxious, scary, frightening moments. The ones in which you're uncertain how it will all end up choose to find joy.
Friend, this is the type of relationship we should strive for. One that can grow as we do. One that expands and evolves with us. One that never stops finding joy. One that encourages us along our evolution. One that gives us space grow as an individual. Someone who can be a home in which we will always feel safe, secure, and comfortable to be who we want to be. Who we are meant to be.
So, friend, if you ever find yourself in these dark moments - the ones you're not sure you can navigate through to the other side - please have faith in yourself and, even though you can't see it yet, the happiness that awaits you.
Don't wait to feel loved, desired, or wanted. Because before you know it, time will have gone by and all you'll have done is waited for someone who was never worth this wait, and now that time is wasted and squandered on someone undeserving.
I sat across from a woman as she told me that she was hard to love. There were a litany of reasons, and she listed them all. She suffered from mood swings, was damaged and easily triggered, has 'issues', is crazy, overreacts and over-thinks, and is riddled by insecurities.
The dating power struggle... this is the struggle that occurs when one or the other person within the dating dynamic feels that they have to give up some of their power by doing a 'major first'. A major first - in essence - is an act that reveals the hand a person holds and exposes a little bit of the ol' heart, thus making one person in the due vulnerable. These firsts could take the guise of asking someone out, initiating the first kiss, saying the first I love you, or a multitude of things in between.
